Should I stay or should I go?

Things are going well food wise – still not good with the gym and all that. Must go tomorrow morning. Feel bad about it. My excuse today was that I overslept. Could it be that this diet makes me more fatigued? I have a tendency to sleep a lot, and to need a lot of sleep, but this kind of takes the cake I think. Last weekend I slept for fifteen hours straight! No wonder I can’t get up in time for the gym, right?

I’m also concerned about the weight not shedding like I want it to. That’s why I’m seriously considering giving Low Calorie another try if I don’t lose a heck of a lot on Thursday. I know I didn’t lose much on LCal last time, but then again… I was on drugs then.

We shall see, my peeps, we shall see.

285

No loss. I’m OK with that.

In fact, I haven’t been a Good Fat Girl in the past couple of weeks; my workout regime has hit rock bottom, and I’ve been drinking too little water and too much Diet Pepsi.

Oh well. I’ll do better this week! I haven’t had breakfast this past week, and I realize that could be a problem. I have to start eating breakfast again next week when I’m really going for it in the gym. Two meals a day, lunch and dinner, simply isn’t enough when your body’s active.

Playing hardball

I got wonderful news today; I’m going to be accepted as a student at one of the colleges I’ve applied for! Woho! So now it’s back to playing hardball with my health again after first getting off the drugs for a week, and then to have my back act all painful and crazy on me. I really don’t know what happened to it – I just woke up one day and found myself with the back of a 92 year old. Thankfully it’s much better today, and I plan to hit the gym with full force again tomorrow morning.

It’s weird – I thought working out was supposed to prevent back pain, not promote it?

All in all it’s been a slow week for me. I’m tired of all kinds of Low Carb Foods, and I can only hope that the fish cakes I’ve been dreaming about today have zero carbs. If not, I’m going to try cod with remulade. I think the remulade contains some carbs – but I don’t think it’s worse than mayo. Mayo works, so the remulade better work too!

Speaking of not working- I’ve decided to not weigh in this week. It wasn’t a hard decision or anything. It’s just that with all that’s been going on health wise these past few weeks I’d rather not get more stressed out with a bad number on the scale.

The good news is, however, that my body better bring it on the scales next week!

285

Finally some progress! I’m so happy to be out of the 290’s; it was so close to three hundred it was scary. Now I’m closing in on goal number one which is 250 – and from there it’s just downward and forward, my babies!

To recap what I’ve done in the past week; cut out most things. I was left with meat and fish, more specifically cow and salmon, fried in butter. I also had some cream cheese with my steak, less than a table spoon. Three meals a day – two of which was salmon. I guess you could say I’m pretty tired of our friend Salmon at this point in time.

The last two days before The Official Weigh-In I change my diet again to now consist of eggs, mayo, Diet Pepsi – and I had some soft cheese for snack and with my steak last night. But even with this change I lost one pound in two days!

I’m also thrilled about the fact that it doesn’t look like Diet Pepsi made me stall – I need something sweet, and that could be it! I’m going to give it another week to see. If I have to cut it out entirely… I will. (It hurts me to say that, but I’m completely dedicated to losing weight – it’s 46 percent of what I’m thinking about these days.)

In other news I’ve been daydreaming about what food to eat when I arrive in the US. My plan is to let the 3 or 4 first days be full on cheat days, and then improve my ways again after that. How can you resist pizzas, hamburgers, donuts, Starbucks coffee and huuuge bags of potato chips? I’m sure it’s possible, but my intentions are those of a cheating kind. And I like it.

Don’t worry – my planned cheat is still 26 weeks away!

Eggs, mayo and Diet Pepsi

Yesterday I changed my diet around again. The plan was to wait until Thursday to do it, but I just couldn’t face another two full days with salmon and steak. I do however know now that I can lose weight – and that I can lose it on those two things. So now it’s time to try out eggs, mayo and Diet Pepsi. I chose Diet Pepsi because I need something sweet, so hopefully that’ll work to kill off any cravings I might have during the day. As per now I’m limiting my Beverage With Aspartame (BWA) intake to 16.9 oz (0.5 litres) per day – just to see how I react to small quantities. My hope is to push the BWA intake on Sundays – it’s my worst sweet cravin’ day. We shall see how I react.

In these Trying & Failing Times I find myself on the scale much more than once per week. I usually weigh-in before I get dressed in the mornings, but I’m still only Officially Weighing In once a week. I didn’t weigh myself today however. I think I’m having a fat day. A fat day is like most days, except I’m completely aware of how fat I actually am. I does mean that my motivation is on top – so something good’s coming from it.

Because I’ve been Drug Free since Thursday, I haven’t been able to work out. Simply because I need all my energy for work, and with the dizziness and general absentmindedness I wouldn’t trust myself on a treadmill or with operating heavy equipment. But this Thursday I’m calling the abstinences off and getting right back on track.

I don’t know if it’s possible to call abstinences off, but I’m doing it.

291… STILL!

Going back to extreme basics; meat.

I’m just saying.

Had the most horrific experience this morning when I was eating my bacon for breakfast; there were hairs on it! Not from my head, oh no, these were the hairs of a pig. Short, stiff and very freaky. I made the mistake of stroking it with my finger. Why would I do such a thing!? Now I’m stuck with a whole bowl of fried bacon, and just looking at it makes me want to throw up.

It wasn’t just the one piece either… as I was talking to my colleague about it I actually found another piece of hairy bacon!

I can’t do bacon anymore. That’s just the way it is. The plan was to go a whole week, but na-a. No can do. No way, Jose! So that’s got me thinking… what is a good, meaty and also good cold? It could be chicken, of course. And we do have a microwave here at work I could use for lunch. Chicken for breakfast and lunch, and steak for dinner? Is it doable? I think instead of committing to it, I have to just try it. I was totally ready for bacon a whole week, but look what happened! It got hairy. Literally. Steak is still on for dinner though – as long as it’s not got cow hair on it I should be OK!

Hairy bacon. What gives?

When all else fails? Try Bacon.

So, what’s on the menu for next week? Bacon. And steak. And some cream cheese too (because I’ve got a lot of it). I actually kind of hope that eggs, cheese and mayo are my stallers so that I can continue on eating juicy steaks with a side of salad. Well, maybe not mayo. I don’t think that mayo is replaceable.

Mayoalternative? Never heard of it.

And by week I mean from Thursday until Thursday. My Diet Weeks start on that day because I always weigh in on Thursday mornings, AKA Official Weigh-In Day. I don’t like receiving good or bad news on Mondays, and I especially don’t like starting stuff on Mondays. It’s usually a wasteful day in my book. And what if cheese and eggs made me lose weight? Well, I need to figure out what’s stalling me, therefore I shall continue on this crusade until I know for sure. If meat in form of bacon and steak is OK, I’m going to add cheese the next week, and if that works I’ll add eggs as well, then mayo and so on.

If meat turns out to be an issue, then it’s salmon all the way!

Changing things up a bit

This is going to be the start of My Test Weeks. This week I am basing my diet around eggs, mayo, cheese (cream and regular Swiss) and this meatsnack (it’s a Norwegian product) I found at the shop. I’m also counting calories and staying below 2200 calories per day. Because I’m weaning off the drugs, I don’t feel good at all, so I figured this would be a good week to start testing things out. That way I will know for sure what foods I don’t tolerate in terms of losing weight by the time I’m drug- and abstinence free.

I think I’m going to have another 3 weeks of not-feeling-good before it’s all over, which means plenty (no, not really!) of time to figure out when my body stops shedding pounds. Could it be because of eggs? Or perhaps cheese?

It might even be the drugs.

291… still.

Am I moping around? No!

Am I depressed about it? No!!

Do I want to succeed even more? Yes!!!

This not-losing-weight might be a good thing. I know it’s hard to see it that way, but think about it; this fuels my desire to do better, or to try harder week after week. I’m still not convinced that it’s not all my fault though – the drugs are still in my system. I did quit the one for anxiety today, and now I’m down from 75 mg to 37.5 mg of Effexor too. In about a week I’m letting it go completely. If that proves to be the case for my stall, I’m going to be so happy I might just die a little. At least die a little on the inside. Then recuperate after about 10 seconds and keep on living The Good, Thin and Active Life (TGTAL).

TGTAL – what we, The Dieting Folk, are striving for.

Today is Friday – yay!, and it’s payday – double-yay! I also just saw that American Idol and The Bachelor are back! Guess who’s stuck in front of the TV this weekend? That’s right, yours truly.

In other good news; I’m attempting to cook Dr. Atkins Revolutionary Rolls today, and also pizza with a crust of cauliflower and mozzarella. This should be interesting. At least I got my new kitchen scale and blender in the mail today, so I’m good to go! Well, that might be an overstatement. But, I will try my hardest. Cooking isn’t really my thaang, I’m more of a watch-tv-and-drink-wine-whilst-also-socialising kind of gal.

Moral of the day? Slow and steady better win the race again!

Not Weighing In

I’ve decided not to weigh-in today. Instead I’m postponing it until tomorrow. It’s not cheating though – it’s just more pressure for next week! Quite frankly I’m fed up with only losing 4 pounds per new diet I’m on and then coming to a halt. There might be several different reasons as to why, and I’ve tried to analyze the ones that come to mind and change things up a bit.

The reasons I believe I might be failing from least likely to most likely;

The Muscles: I recently read about gaining weight the day after you’ve worked out due to muscles retaining water. Because I work out everyday except Sunday, I’m thinking that this is very unlikely for me. On the other hand one can never be too sure, so I’m not working out today in order to try and improve my number for tomorrow. Then of course I’m back to working out again on Friday morning. Going to the gym is important after all. I don’t want to end up all flabby and mushy on the outside when this is all said and done.

The Pepsi: Yeeeah, I had a Diet Pepsi two days ago. Dr. Atkins writes in his book that we have a choice to drink diet sodas or not, but I have a conspiracy theory that says that the translated Norwegian version I have of it was hijacked by the sodamakers. They do want to continue to make money after all. This might not be true, and for that I apologize to the sodamakers in advance, but I’m keeping my options as to why I’m failing open.

The Flax: Three days ago I made bread with flax seeds (grinded them up into flour), eggs, butter and baking soda. This could be the sinner right here. Of course that doesn’t explain why I didn’t lose weight between Thursday and Monday. The flax bread is now gone, as of yesterday for lunch, and I’m back to using lettuce as bread.

The Drugs: This is what I believe is sinner number one. Thankfully I’m in the process of weaning off the drug that’s the worst, Effexor, and I’m also giving up my other drug for anxiety, Flupentixol, tomorrow. Effexor, which is for treating my depression, is something I’m never going back to, but Flupentixol I might take if it’s not that that’s causing me to stall. Effexor is a bitch to get off, and when I’m finally there I’m never looking back. I hope someone reads this and realizes how crappy of a medication it is to wean off from, and thinks twice before signing on to it. I’m sure it’s very helpful to a lot of people, me included, but if I knew what trouble it would cause me to quit it I never would’ve started taking it.

Even though I haven’t lost any weight since the first four pounds, I still feel thinner and not to mention fitter. But then again; I have been working out, so I’m glad something’s still right with the world.